yesterday I was happy
Yesterday I did something that I hardly ever get to do.
I wrote in my journal that I was happy.
What typically happens is that I write because I need to process something: I’m anxious, sad, feeling off in some way, so my journal entries don’t usually reflect points of happiness in my life.
But I caught one yesterday and I don’t know, it’s still making me smile.
I’m currently enjoying spring break and I’ve been spending a whole lot of time with my entire immediate family over the past few days. I will be honest, sometimes this is a trial. I do love my parents and my brother, but they do tend to annoy me a little if I spend too much time with them. I’m an introvert, what can I say?
But yesterday we were all in the kitchen during the early afternoon, some of us eating, some of us just standing around talking, and I just felt so at peace. There was so much joy to be felt simply existing in the same space as my loved ones and it was wonderful. And the joy remained for the rest of the day. I had a wonderful little dinner with my father and brother, all of us sharing a meal of store bought frozen tempura rolls, lamenting about eating wasabi wrong so it went up our noses and laughing about memes we had seen recently. I then had a lovely time watching tv with my mother and brother, reacting dramatically to the things we were witnessing and having in depth conversations about what we predicted would or should happen.
I think what was happening is that there was space for silliness. Everyone was either acting a bit strange or accepting the strangeness with open arms and it was so comfortable and I was beyond happy to experience it again.
This is not to say that this only happens once in a blue moon because it doesn’t, but my brother has been away at college and my parents’ work has been making them more exhausted and stressed and I’ve been out of it for years, not to mention the countless other things that we’ve muddled though personally within our family and societally.
It’s been rough, so I think it made me happy to see them smiling and joyful too.
It was a good day.
~nan