grappling with my own physicality
Much to my chagrin, I just realized that I will never feel at home in my body unless I actually take steps to force myself to visualize my physicality. I'm acutely cognizant of my face and I've always been aware of my mind and my emotions, but that's because I see my face several times a day, and I have to deal with my mind all the time. The only time I am compelled to encounter my body is during bathing, which has apparently not done a good enough job of communicating to me that I have a physical form.
So I've decided to do better.
But how am I going to manage that?
Well, it is going to be a bit of an experiment, as I'm not entirely sure what actually will get through to me. I'll definitely continue my daily (or weekly) flexibility training and my occasional bedroom dance parties. But I do have to add in something that forces me to look at myself in my entirety, and for that reason, I'm considering taking full body photographs of myself everyday in different poses until I am familiar enough with my own form that it doesn't feel foreign.
I am not sure it will work, but it should do something. Right?
~nan